Busy week. I know I always say that... those few extra hours I'm working each day are making my evenings feel none existent, especially as its still dark when I'm leaving work, but I keep telling myself soon it will be light, and soon I will be used to my new routine.
I'm trying to remember when I first began working full time after student life; when I got home at 6 and felt I had had my life stolen away... and I survived (imagine!) and adapted and eventually it was just normal, good even. So now, in this new job, that I am so grateful for and wanted and enjoy, I know will settle again. As soon as its light in the evenings!
I have been feeling strange recently though, a bit... unsettled. Perhaps its because of the house hunting; imagining myself living somewhere else and decisions decisions, but thats all sorted now (Well I hope! We've decided to stay where we are as our landlord made us an offer we couldn't refuse, and so soon will have a spare room... a studio room perhaps? But thats another story :) )
No, I think this feeling is down to something else...
I think its some kind of creative itch. Don't get me wrong, I'm lucky to have a job that allows me to be creative every day. But often its a bit here a bit there; an afternoon, an hour, and always the aim in my head is the best way to help someone else. I suddenly realized today, whilst reading Jenny's post about her creative process, that this feeling I've had; this feeling of having loads of things to do but not being able to think what they are; this slight edgy feeling, is perhaps to do with the fact I need to make something, properly.
I've been looking at books, of pictures and diagrams and birds, at all sorts of beautiful creative things on blogs and I've been doodling a lot, and thinking, making notes and folding bits of paper into ever decreasing concertinas... planning for something, working out something, but I don't feel like I've been going anywhere, and I didn't realise that until today.
And I don't necessarily think its a bad thing, this preparation. I feel I'm aware of how it all works with this creativity thing, ups and downs, twists and turns, but it still manages to constantly amaze me... the way I'm feeling now, its obvious but I never even saw it until today.
Well...
I know what I have to do I think... start something
4 comments:
i get that feeling as well. i do lots of drawing and thinking and planning and working out too. but i never get round to actually making something. i want to make a whole thing properly and accurately, but i just haven't done it recently. and i just can't justify (in my own head) letting myself make something small, even though it might scratch the itch, so to speak.
xx
and i'm really glad you've sorted the house thing - i ran into the guy over the road on monday and he's let the house already. how'd you get another room?
ohhh a studio room... that sounds so so good sarah! and i know that itchy feeling that you describe oh so well. for me it is manifesting itself in little piles of fabric and wool all over... and just at the time when work is getting busy... some sort of spring fever of creativity. xox
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spring fever... I think you're right!
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