bird

I go through phases with drawing. Sometimes I get out of the habit, and don't do any for ages... and after a break it always takes me ages to get back into it; to find that switch in my head, that realization I need to slow down, spend time looking...

Sometimes, to quieten the part of me that's whining 'I can't do it, I'm rubbish', to get back into that elusive mood of holding both the whole and the parts in my head at once, to stop being too precious (and getting half way then stopping because I'm scared of ruining it), I make myself do really fast drawings... 

I often do these drawings all on top of each other. I suppose I'm kind of forcing myself to spoil them, to not worry about the marks I've just made and move on, the next line, the next space...

Normally after about three of these I've slowed down enough, lost the rush and impatience I feel when a drawing looks mediocre and doesn't go the way I want it to fast enough. And I enjoy the feeling of freedom it gives me (you should try it)

But today I felt like something different. I felt slow already, perhaps because I'm tired (a 5 hour drive back from Edinburgh beginning at 1am on Wednesday and 3 hours sleep hasn't really done me any favors, although I have some pictures of the book exhibition to show you tomorrow :) ) Anyway, instead of slumping down in front of the telly I got my pencils out... 

A slow drawing, with lines drawn and corrected, curves and angles and lines, and thought, and satisfaction. I enjoy the focus, the absorption, the way the world disappears for a bit. The concentration. I almost chickened out of finishing though, nearly gave up without drawing the legs, I couldn't get the angle right. But I then I decided to make myself do that last little bit (because despite all the good intentions, there's really not much chance I'd ever go back if I left before the end. Many unfinished drawings hold testament to that, or they would, if they could escape from the dust under the bed. It wouldn't happen.) But its done now.

Probably I should've done another straight away, this one was probably the loosening up one. 

But I needed a cup of tea...

you probably know this already but...

My favourite thing to do with a bit of paper is to fold it into a concertina. There's something so very satisfying about matching up edges and creasing, folding and creasing and ending up with a little paper caterpillar that can squash and open and flex. And its so versatile as a book structure...

I'm trying to make a book that shows this versatility. Some plans...

quilt?

My mum has a special birthday coming up and I really want to make her something special as she means so so much to me...


And I've been looking at all the lovely quilts out there in blogland at the moment...


And so I thought I would have a go at making my own! It will only be small, although I did spend yesterday evening measuring my bed and working out patterns and material amounts and time scales, but then I realised I was being a little bit ambitious, especially as I have never made any kind of quilt before...


I'm quite excited really, because even though it could all go horribly wrong I'm looking forward to having a go and seeing what happens! So we'll see...

hmmm

Recently I've been trying to do more drawing. I do really enjoy drawing, but I hate that 'rusty' feeling I get when I haven't done any for a while. It always takes me a while to get my eye in and I have to try to remember that it's normal to hate my drawings, at least for a bit!


I drew these little plants a while ago and was disapointed how flat they looked compared to the tangle of flowers and leaves I saw in the grass. That lead me to draw a few rough ones and then set to them with a stanley knife...


And actually I was pleasantly surprised. I love the fact that I can be happily playing around, thinking I'm going in one direction and then suddenly realise that I've come full circle... these little plant drawings had turned into books without me even realising!


I suppose what I'm trying to tell myself is that I shouldn't be afraid to experiment, shouldn't worry too much about what I'm trying to do, or at least that I should realise that often when I am worrying, and thinking what I'm doing is poor, that in fact something just right may be just around the corner. Or perhaps what I'm trying to tell myself is to go and make some work!

sunday

Today I have been occupying myself... doing a bit of tidying up, eating mushrooms on toast and making some little tree cards...


All in all a good day!

much better

I love theses flowers. Crocosmia. They grow like nobodies business round here, big persistent bushes that almost double every year. They remind me of my mum, when I was little she used to pick big bunches and fill vases round the house. She used to mix them together with the pink roses that grew up the side of the house.


Last year when I was clearing a bed of flowers to plant vegetables at my parent's house I very carefully dug up all the crocosmia corms (like little fat caterpillars) and put them round the back where the chickens like to dig up worms. Now this year the bed has garlic and leeks and onions... and more bright orange flowers than ever! Why can't everything I grow be this successful...


And here in Leeds the green leaves and orange flowers line the drive. They make me feel at home.


The last few days have been so lovely and sunny, the tomatoes are ripening and the orange flowers seem to have absorbed the warmth and light, they're so orange they're almost purple. I brought some inside to draw but my lines don't quite capture the orangeness...


So I took these photos instead!

observation

Observational drawing today at work, still life of bottles and stones and fruit. 2B pencils.


And it's so inspiring to see these people who have never done anything like this before to start to really look. I could almost see the lights going on in their heads as the teacher talked about line and tone and texture, measuring distances with thumbs and pointing out areas of light and shade. And their drawings have improved so much just in the last few days. It's great to see.


Some find it hard (which it is!) to concentrate, and need lots of support 'how do the tones change from here to here' 'what shape could you use as a guide to draw this' and its really rewarding to be able to help, to explain a little thing something to someone that makes them think 'I understand'. Today a student (after an hour of struggling to draw a shiny, oddly shaped jelly mould, but really persevering and ending up with a really good, well observed drawing) turned around to me and said 'You know, I'm really proud of myself today'. And that felt so good!


(And it inspired me to get my sketch book out, drawings of my hand, click on them to see full size... maybe I'll try tone tomorrow... )

ginger marmalade

Rain all day.


And a little tree card to say 'thank you for the marmalade!' (Received in the post from Matt's Auntie. Perfect on toast.)

lines

Drawing in a empty house. Window open to bird song and the brewing of a storm at the end of a hot airless day. The light turns yellow. Calm before the storm I suppose.

lettuce flowers

These pretty little flowers grew from some oriental lettuce left outside over winter. What a nice surprise!

todays trees

whatever the weather

English weather eh? You can't beat it. How is it possible to have so many types of weather in one day? One minute it's snowing so much I can't see a thing, then 10 minutes later it's bright sunshine, lovely blue sky, and I'm thinking 3 jumpers was one too many. But oh no, here come the hail stones, and the wind, in fact no, it's sunny again. It's certainly confusing the chickens! Perhaps it's global warming...

I'm reading a good book at the mo called 'Watching the English', it's all about English behaviour, and the first chapter is, appropriately enough for today, called 'The Weather'. Kate Fox, the author, thinks that we love talking about the weather so much, not because it actually fascinates us, but as a kind of 'social bonding'. The English have a reputation for being uptight and embarrassed in new social situations and saying 'cold isn't it' or 'nice to see a bit of sun' is (she says) a way of entering into conversation, we know where we stand with the weather. All the other person has to do say is 'yes I know' or 'it's been forecast all week' and you're sorted, you know where you stand with that person. And I was thinking about this, and it seems to be true.

I suppose being English myself I don't really notice how I react in these situations, it just comes naturally, so it's funny to read this book and think 'actually yes I do do that!'

I have been doing some drawings of trees today, see what you think.