Saturday, 14 August 2010

Sometimes I wish I didn't make things. I think about just coming in and sitting down on the sofa and not feeling like I should be doing something with my hands. Not thinking about if the shade of red on the box is wrong and perhaps it should be grey. Or if the dimensions are right at all. Right. And I should've cut that paper because now I'll have to fold it tomorrow and I won't have time to sew it. In fact now I've seen all the folded up bits in a pile on the floor I'd like to sew them all together into to maybe a big circle, look how the fold lines line up. But then I'd have to cut and sew them all again because I need them for something else too. And I have 10 of the same books to make (the covers half prepared) but theres a sewing pattern growing in my head and I try to experiment but mess it up and I should've been sewing the books. I try to do too many things at once and none of them turn out right because of it. Or they might be right but I don't feel its the best they could be. I wonder whats the point.

I know you're right to tell me to just get on with it. I hate the sound of myself.


Tell me you feel like this sometimes too?

14 comments:

Jacqui Dodds said...

I am feeling like this right now! I have a print that needs adjusting as it's not working quite right and I know that if I adjust it again it probably won't be quite right and then I'll have to go back to scratch and start it again... Also another idea for a print that is going to be for a print swap seems complicated as I will have to sort out quite a few ideas and layers and then that may not look right!!!!
I sometimes find though that in playing around you usually learn something new and an idea pops up that you haven't thought of.
I am not going to tell you to just get on with it as I need to tell myself to just get on with it :-)

Velma said...

yep. most times, in fact! though i want to believe it gets better as time passes...

elisvermeulen said...

being a bit chaotic isn't bad.:) Sometimes its best to just do a zillion things at the same time and sometimes its best to concentrate on one thing.
I learned during the years to kinda 'use' and trust my subconsiousness. (..hate how that sounds.. all grown up and blabla,but I mean well .. will try to say it differently:)) I mean; Maybe you could just relax and mess about for the time being? you will get back on track again. don't worry.

deanna7trees said...

I feel that way when the clutter around me gets overwhelming because of all the projects I'm working on at once, but the truth is, I'd be lost, if it all went away...

mouse2cat said...

I feel like it can be a matter of just slowing yourself down a little bit. Be kind to yourself.

Marianne said...

I love your kvetching.

Mary Lee said...

I wish I could leave just the right words for you to feel better, LPB. Let me say that I always look forward to your posts, no matter what you're righting about and love your pictures. The photo on this blog is just heart-breakingly beautiful. NO ONE is doing what you are doing with folds and stitches.
Be kind to yourself.

Fiona said...

I do, I do, I do.

shipbuilding said...

...all the time!!! In fact, I need to be making right now but instead I'm reading your gorgeous blog. It is Sunday morning after all...

Lizzy Derksen said...

Right now I have about three hundred photos to sort through and edit, so I can replace the 8 listings in my shop that are down for revamping, and my house is an absolute disaster because I've been working all weekend, and I haven't written so much as a journal entry in five days, and I should be submitting work to another round of lit journals, since I've just received a shitload of rejections, and there is a shirt pattern that I've been wanting to cut out, and I should be exercising, and I want to try making another eggplant pie, and, and, and...

I feel you.

Sweet Asceticism said...

story of my life.

Paper Chipmunk said...

And I thought it was me! The disorganization and scattered inability to finish anything and constantly wanting to be doing something productive... Sigh...

machinewithnoname said...

i was just feeling this way! too many things to do! love your blog

quirkydream said...

I feel like this all the time. I don't often get a break in my paid work, but when I do, like now, I pick up old things and start new things and it never occurs to me that I won't have time to finish them all. Right now on the dresser in front of me is a pile of books and a notebook where I'm trying to continue to write a children's story. I was very excited about that 3 days ago, but then I got the chance of a free sewing machine and I've taken a lot of time getting that going properly. To the left of me on the table are two packets of iron-on transfer paper, because I want to do some designs on some plain cream heavy cotton shopping bags I bought ages ago and have done nothing with. On top of those is a packet of plain card and envelopes because I really must make my Christmas cards before New Year this year. On top of that is my current sketchbook and a notebook, both of which have got unstarted ideas in. Then there's a John Lewis bag with some waxed cotton in, because I bought a lovely yellowy vintage satchel/bag in London about 6 months ago and the stitching needs repairing on the strap. And a tin with my scalpel and blades in, because there is a paper cut in my head that I want to do. Then in front of me my newly repaired sewing machine is set up, there are scraps of blue material, and a lovely thick creamy white tablecloth I bought for £3 in a charity shop with the intention of making some scented fabric hearts, but I can't decide whether it is too good to chop up or not. I saw some fabric hearts in John Lewis when I was buying the thread, with duck egg blue blanket stitch round the edge and an embroidered motif in the centre – I thought they would be an easy way to get me into sewing again. And I haven't mentioned the lovely bright inks which I bought yesterday to experiment with – they are on the mantlepiece behind me.
So like you, I think I need to train myself to FOCUS on one thing at a time.